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Kelly Perine

JUST ANOTHER MEATLESS MONDAY

JUST ANOTHER MEATLESS MONDAY. WISH IT WAS SUNDAY. THAT’S MY BUN DAY /  DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH ALL THE TOPPINGS AND ONION DAY. JUST ANOTHER MEATLESS MONDAY


Man I want a burger! With all that's going on, the pandemic, the racism, the rioting, one of the hardest things for me to have to deal with is cutting back on the meat. Okay, maybe not the hardest. The racism is a tough one, but if this looting keeps going on I might have to hit a Micky D’s. I'm a big eater and defender of the whole concept of meat. I believe we have dominion over the animals, and if they came out with a cereal that had bacon bits in it I’d eat the hell out of it. There was a Saturday, about 15 years ago, where my buddy Greg and I were watching some sporting event and a Carl's Jr. commercial for the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger came on. The second it ended we looked at each other and simultaneously said “Let’s go!” and we were out and at Carl's 4 minutes later. I think the best burger commercial is the classic In & Out one where the Double-Double just sits there for like 30 seconds. Taunting me. Hypnotizing me. Daring me to come get it. Sorry Double-Double, I can’t right now.


Why? Because ever since Trump made an executive order forcing people to go back into these COVID-19 riddled factories, I said nope. I'm not going to be part of the problem. I'm even getting vegetarian food for my dogs. Trump could use his executive power to do pretty much anything, and one thing he does is make sure his buddies at Mar-A-Lago have steaks. Not to make PPE. Not to make masks. And I don’t want to hear any bullshit about how I’m talking about taking food out of kids’ mouths. Trump has the ability TODAY to nationalize a food chain that gets all the milk these farmers are throwing out to the people that could use it and get some of the food rotting in silos to folks in these food lines. That would be bold leadership that would get my praise.

So for the past four weeks, I haven't bought any meat. Well, I bought some hamburger to make meatloaf for my roommate's birthday, but that's it. I didn't say I wasn't eating meat, as my fridge already had a bunch of frozen stuff in there that I’m not going to waste. I said I wasn't buying it, and I'm trying to eat less of it. And truth be told, it hasn't been too bad. Been eating a lot of fish, pasta, veggies, impossible burger, and I’m making it work. I'll be honest, I feel pretty good. I think its Morning Star Farms that has these chicken wings or chicken nuggets that taste pretty damn near like chicken. Soak that shit in BBQ sauce, I'm fooled. But I'm looking forward to the day I can go back to eating meat and feel good about it. Whether or not, with the state of factory farming, anyone should feel good about eating meat is a debate for another day. But I’m going to use this pandemic to lower my footprint. And maybe my bad cholesterol.

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